FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
What are some of the ways psychotherapy can help?
Psychotherapy may help you:
Make well-informed decisions regarding your career, relationships,
and
other important life choices.
Manage stressful situations or life transitions such as graduating
high
school or college and moving into the job market, marrying, becoming a
parent, and retiring.
Increase your capacity for intimacy and sexual pleasure
Mourn the loss of a loved one of a significant relationship
Feel more comfortable with your body.
Establish closer and more fulfilling relationships.
Feel more capable in your studies or career.
Overcome feelings of anxiety and depression.
Experience greater pleasure in your day-to-day life.
Make better use of your abilities.
Gain greater freedom in your choices and actions.
Increase your self-confidence and self- esteem.
Is it normal to be nervous about contacting a psychotherapist?
Yes. Whatever you want to work on in psychotherapy is obviously
important
to you --- otherwise you would not consider investing your time,
energy, and
money. Many people worry about being judged or misunderstood. Others
worry that the therapist will not be able to help in any meaningful way.
Frequently people find that their nervousness subsides during the
initial
session as the therapist treats their concerns with seriousness,
respect,
and compassion.
How do I know whether a psychotherapist is the right one for me?
The initial sessions not only allow the psychotherapist to get to
know you, but
also allow you to get to know the therapist. Specifically, you can
assess ho
comfortable you feel with the therapist and how confident you feel that
he or
she understands you. If you feel that your concerns are not being
treated
seriously and sensitively, you should look for a different
psychotherapist.
However, even a competent and experienced psychotherapist may not be the
right one for you. As in any relationship, some people “click” better
than others.
If you feel that the therapist might not be a good match for you, you
should
obtain additional referrals and meet with other psychotherapists.
How can I make the most of psychotherapy?
Psychotherapy works best when you share your thoughts and feelings as
openly and honestly as possible. Some people find this easier than
others.
Most of us “screen” our thoughts, often without realizing it. This may
be
because we find them inconsequential, embarrassing, painful, or
inappropriate.
Your therapist should help you feel more comfortable sharing your
thoughts
so that you can make the most of your treatment.
How do you work with individuals?
When I counsel individuals, I encourage them to not just have
something from
which they are moving away, such as anxiety or loneliness or
depression, but
to also have something toward which they are moving, such as peace of
mind,
a new job, or a great relationship. Nature abhors a vacuum. You cannot
just
take something away without having something else to replace what is
being
taken away. So part of my work with you might be aimed toward helping
you to
figure out what it is that you want out of life. I will encourage you
to really
uncover your passions and desires. That’s going to help fuel your
motivation
to go away from where you are and to work in moving toward your stated
goals.
In our talks, we are also going to weave a basket and intertwine
talk about the
past, the present and the future. The past is important because it
informs you
about who you are: it’s how you were created, and that’s probably where
the
roadblocks developed that are putting obstacles in your present from
being
able to live the life you desire. Your present is important because
that’s where
your choices are unfolding right now, and that’s where you have a
chance to
change. And, we are going to set the future as a compass that points to
where
you want to be and will help inform the choices you make today. Thus, I
will be
helping you to recognize, manage, and remove the obstacles from the past
that are interfering with your being able to act in the present in ways
that will
lead to the future that you have now envisioned for yourself.
I really enjoy engaging with people in this process of helping them
create
the lives they want for themselves. And most people find the shared
journey
gratifying and well worth the time, effort, and expense.
How do you work with couples?
Our significant others: they can bring us the greatest joy, they can
cause us
the most intense sadness and pain, and they can trigger the
most burning
anger. In couples counseling, I help you sort out these
confusing mixed feelings,
learn to recognize and strengthen the
positives of your relationship, and
understand how to work through the
negatives that are causing pain,
frustration, and sorrow.
I teach couples how to communicate so that it will be possible to
better hear
and understand each others feelings, needs, and wants, and
learn how to
negotiate workable solutions that respect one another’s
individuality and
boundaries.
All couples have disagreements. The key is learning tools to
effectively problem
solve and resolve your conflicts, and to
communicate in ways that prevent crisis
and sustain your relationship.
In couple sessions, you are taught these tools
and will have the
opportunity to practice using them. You will be given
questionnaires to
help clarify issues of concern, articles to read, opportunities
to
develop understanding through role playing, and assignments to
reinforce
what you are learning.
Sessions also involve in-depth work where each person gains insight
into how
his/her view of relationships is shaped by the family in which
he/she grew up.
Couples will learn how these “hidden family ghosts”
effect their relationship.
They will come to realize that it is no
accident that they were drawn to one another.
And, that couples play
out with one another the unfinished issues from the family
in which
he/she grew up, as well as those of his/her partner. These are the “red
flags” that trigger strong emotional reactions in one another.
Understanding one another’s emotional “sore points” can help couples to
approach one another in
more compassionate ways, and make it possible
to work out potential conflicts
instead of having a fight.
I do relationship counseling with couples who are dating, who are
currently
living together, who are engaged or considering getting
engaged or unable to
make the final decision to become engaged, and who
are separated, married, or divorced, with or without children.
utilizing what I believe will be most effective in each individual situation. I often recommend that couples read literature that will introduce key therapeutic
concepts to provide a good understanding of the emotional forces that play out
in their relationships.
How long does counseling last?
Counseling sessions are generally 45 minutes long. Many people come
for
one 45 minute session a week. However, some people feel that they need
more time and will either arrange for two 45 minutes sessions on two
different
days of the week, or will arrange for one extended double session of 90
minutes
per week. During our first session together, we can determine what
format would
work best for you and your situation.
Depending upon your goals for therapy, the complexity of your
situation, and your readiness to make some changes, sessions can run
from three months to a
couple of years. I believe that counseling should be productive and
effective.
Assignments of journaling (including an autobiography and dream diary),
bibliotherapy (reading a book), or writing a process letter can speed
up
treatment, as well as the use of creative and dramatic tools such as
art
therapy, music therapy, poetry and short story writing, and
psychodrama/role
playing. We also want counseling to be effective and the results to
last. This
can take some time. Some clients come to “feel better”, but don’t
necessarily
“get better”. Once they put in the necessary time and energy, they can
get the
results they want.
Do you prescribe medication?
I am not a physician, so I cannot prescribe medication. However, I
do have
knowledge of the current psychotropic medications that are prescribed.
If
you need medication, I will work with your prescribing physician to
monitor the effectiveness of your medication. Also, should you need a
referral to a
psychiatrist for a medical evaluation, I have several psychiatrists
with
whom I work and can recommend to you.